Motherhood!

When Nolan was born, I labored all night and was exhausted (Not to mention still drugged up) when he finally came into the world. He was born at 6am and I slept most of that day. That night we had lots of friend's come and visit us in the hospital. They all brought their kids, and the hospital had a strict policy about having kids in the room with newborns. So since I thought that everyone was there to see me anyway, I just had them take the baby away into the nursery so that I could visit with my friends (and that the hubby's didn't have to take their kids in the hall.) I didn't really feel attached to him then. I could have gotten a new puppy and felt the same way- he was cute- but whatever).

Then the nurse brought him to me in the middle of the night for a feeding. She held him up, facing me as she woke me up. I remember looking at that little face that was helpless and staring right back at me. That is when I knew that he was mine and it was my job to keep him safe, love him, help him, teach him, and protect him in this big, scary world. It took me almost a day to bond with my child- but that was all. From that point on I never wanted to be separated from him again. I fell in love with my baby.

I fall in love all over again every time I have a baby. Their coos, their laughter, their smell, their cries... Everything that makes them who they are.

I have good kids and hope that they continue to be who they are.

Nolan: My wonderful first child whom I love so much. We have taught each other how to grow and what to do in each stage of life (and have many more to go). Sometimes, I make fun of his obsessions, but they make him who he is. I have learned to take pride that my son knows more about mites and chiggers (and even vacuums too) more than any child that I know! I hope he never stops reading and learning the things that are interesting to him.

Carli: My only daughter, we stick together in a house full of boys. But she is her own person. She definitely speaks her mind. I have come to embrace her tomboy-ness. I am learning a lot about how she wants to shape herself and grow, spiritually and mentally. She is the most DETERMINED person that I know. Once she has in her mind to do something, she is not going to get over it easily- no matter how hard it is. She has it in her mind right now to learn the Articles of Faith. We forget until we get to church every Sunday to study them, but somehow she has been passing them off in primary anyway. I am always proud of her, and even though she will never carry around a little pink purse full of Barbies while wearing her pretty purple headband with matching dress-up pumps, I Love who she is and would never change a thing!

Bridger: When Bridgie came into our lives, we were so ready for him. We all fell in love with every part of him. We all still are. I laugh everytime he goes up to a stranger in public and hugs them. He couldn't be any sweeter. He always says, "Mom, you're cute" or" Mom, I way need you." It just melts my heart. He is so loving by nature and I hope that he Never changes.

Jack: As time goes by, Jack is starting to need me more. He lights up when I look at him and finds comfort in my arms. He can't get enough of my kisses and when I kiss him- he puts his lil' head right up against my face again so that I will repeat a kiss. I should try to ween him so that he won't need me so much but I can't make myself do it this time around. They just grow up too fast and I am savoring his infant-hood. So precious and such a good baby.


There is a quote by Sis. Hinckley that has been on my fridge for years now. I still read it from time to time. They are words to live by:

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, my hair expertly coifed.

I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camps.

I want to be there with grass stains on my shoes from mowing Sis. Schenk's lawn.

I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor's children.

I want to be there with dirt under my fingernails from helping weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my shoulder.

I want the Lord to know that I was really here and that I really lived."